Doug Saffir

There isn’t a lot of positivity in the news in this day and age. It’s all murders, car wrecks, and stupid celebrities.

So when there’s an opportunity to bring some light to the world, that opportunity has to be seized.

This is me seizing that opportunity with a wonderful video of some fine folks down in Brazil taking it upon themselves to save the lives of tens of beached dolphins. Reddit user Tucagonzaga posted the video, and in a strange coincidence, the room I was sitting in got all dusty while I watched it! Funny how that works.

Now, I don’t want to take away from all the fuzzies you’re feeling after watching humans connect on such a primal level with another species. BUT, this video is not just a silver lining in otherwise gloomy times. This is also three minutes of astounding insanity.

I’ve thought about this a lot: if I’m on a beach and I see a bunch of dorsal-finned creatures racing toward the shore, I’m high-tailing it in the opposite direction. I’m not stopping to realize that ocean-based creatures don’t generally hop out on land and start mauling people. Why take the chance today’s the day that changes?

Not to mention that, despite lots of information about how dolphins are like humans and totally won’t hurt you, there’s more than a few stories about them trying to rape scuba divers. Oh, and these are their teeth. No thanks.

Welp, these folks are better than I am. Not only do they wait to see what happens as the dolphins charge the shore, they also get up close and personal with these unruly beasts and then drag them back into the water. And those dolphins did not look easy to move. No offense, dolphins, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to save you in this situation. Good on those Brazilians for staying fit enough to risk life and limb to save those poor dolphin bastards.